A funny greeting card is actually funny when the joke could only be about one person. A pun about cats could go to anyone. Their face, cut out of a real photo and singing a polka in a Bavarian beer hall, can only go to them. That's what Tangy Limes makes: short music video cards where a real face goes on a dancer and mouths the words to an original song, for birthdays, anniversaries, breakups, holidays and the occasions in between. Below: seven picks by occasion, lines to write on them, and the one photo rule.
By occasion:
- A birthday they'd rather not discuss: You're Old Now. Bingo hall, porch rocking chair, golf cart. The headline just says YOU'RE OLD.
- A birthday for the guy with opinions about beer: Birthday Polka, which goes from a beer hall to an alpine meadow to, for no stated reason, a 70s bowling alley.
- An anniversary for a couple who are a bit much: Power Ballad of Love, cheesy on purpose, ending in a Vegas chapel with an Elvis impersonator.
- A Christmas card for four people who can't sing: Holiday Boy Band, with fake snow, lasers and matching outfits.
- A coworker's last day: Don't Let the Door Hit You, from a cubicle to an airport gate.
- A grudge: You're a Jerk, which includes a courtroom scene and a car parked across two spaces.
- A dog's birthday: Pawty Animals, where the dog's face goes on a dancing dog.
Holiday Boy Band
4 people
Don't Let the Door Hit You
1 person
You're a Jerk
1 person
Pawty Animals
2 people + 2 pets
Why their face beats a punchline
Our theory about store cards: they're written for whoever picks them up, so the jokes stay general. Dads. Coworkers. Turning 40. But nobody's dad is just a dad. Yours might be the man who backs into the garage so he can leave faster in an emergency that has not yet occurred.
Put that man's face on a heavy metal frontman and the card barely needs a joke. It's a cutout of the actual photo, so the exact expression from the one where he blinked is now headbanging on an arena stage. His mouth opens and closes to the song, so he's belting lyrics he has never heard, with the confidence of a man who reverses into garages.
Write the line yourself
Every card has a big headline you can rewrite, and that's where the inside joke goes. Short and specific wins. Some to steal, by occasion:
Birthday: YOUR BACK HURTS NOW. STILL YOUNGER THAN YOUR JOKES. Anniversary: STILL NOT SICK OF YOU. TEN YEARS, NO RETURNS. Christmas: WE ALL SAW THE SWEATER. Coworker leaving: WHO WILL STEAL MY YOGURT NOW. Any occasion at all: WE DON'T TALK ABOUT CANCÚN, which needs no context and shouldn't get any.
If the joke needs to be in the song too, the card can get its own. Say what it's about, read the words, fix anything that's off, and the faces sing that instead.
Use the worst photo you have
Facing the camera, mouth visible, ideally mid-laugh. Not the flattering one. Group photos work: up to four faces fit, depending on the card, and you tap to choose who goes on which dancer.
Then send it
You watch the whole card with their face in it before paying anything. If it made you laugh, it's $1.99 to keep, with no subscription, and a share link plays right in the group chat. Then wait for the reply that's just your name in capital letters.