Need a catfish card for the friend whose date did not look like the photos? Catfished is a music video card on Tangy Limes where their real face, cut out of a photo, sings an original song while holding roses for someone who isn't coming. You upload a photo, type the name, and watch the preview for free.
There's also Hot But Dumb, for the opposite problem. The person was exactly who they said they were, and that turned out to be the issue. Both take one face or two, and both are $1.99 to keep.
What's in Catfished
The headline says YOU GOT CATFISHED, so there's no ambiguity about why you're sending it. It runs about 40 seconds and the mouths move to the words. Four scenes:
The restaurant. Candlelight, a sharp blazer, a bouquet of roses held up hopefully. Some swaying and grinning. This is the before.
The park bench. Sunset, a nice date-night dress, waving a phone around, then a confused look at it. The profile said six foot. The profile said a lot of things.
The sidewalk. Night, rain, a streetlamp, a wilted bouquet. Drooping, then a big dramatic shrug.
The dock. A lake at dusk, and now you're the one fishing. A fish wiggles on the line, you laugh, and you throw a single rose. I think that's growth.
The cast is one guy and one girl. Use your friend alone, or put a second face on the other dancer. If you have a photo of the catfish, I'm not going to tell you what to do.
Hot But Dumb, for the one who was real
The headline is YOU'RE HOT (BUT DUMB). Also one or two faces, one guy dancer and one girl dancer.
It starts on a sunny beach with palm trees: a bright sundress, sunglasses pushed up, a hair flip, a blown kiss. Then a gym, all shiny weights and mirrors, with a tight tank top, a sweatband, goofy flexing and a kiss on the bicep.
Then a library. Tall bookshelves, a book held upside down, a confused look, a shrug and a laugh. Then a rooftop pool party, some pointing, some head scratching. There's a mirror with lipstick and a light-up vanity in there too.
You can send it to your ex, to your friend's new situationship, or to yourself after you texted "your" when you meant "you're". It's mean, but it does open with a compliment.
What to write on it
You can type over the headline, and specific is funnier. A few:
- HIS NAME WAS NOT CHAD
- THE DOG WAS NOT HIS
- 5'6" IN BOOTS
- SHE SAID SHE READ
- 10/10 WOULD NOT MATCH AGAIN
And something to text with the link:
- For your healing.
- Sending this to the group chat, as is tradition.
- At least the restaurant was nice.
- This is my review of your taste.
For the photo, use one where your friend looks hopeful. It's a cutout of the real face with nothing changed by AI, so the hope stays in. If the cutout clips some hair, paint it back. If you think they deserve a bigger head after what they went through, you can make it bigger.
Make it and send it
Pick the card, upload the photo, type the name, press play. Add a second face if you want one, and choose who dances where.
Make a share link and text it. It opens a plain web page that plays the video, with no app and no sign-in. That's a better first impression than the date made. Or download the MP4.
The preview is free. Keeping the card is one $1.99 payment and nothing renews, which is more commitment than anyone on the apps is offering.