Looking for an 80s birthday card? Totally Rad Birthday is a music video card where the birthday person's real face, cut out of a photo, sings an original birthday song in a pink leotard, leg warmers and wrist sweatbands. You upload the photo, type the name, and watch the preview for free.
It's about 40 seconds. Their mouth moves to the words, so they will be singing happy birthday to themselves in an aerobics studio, which is the correct amount of 80s.
What's in Totally Rad Birthday
Four scenes, all neon, none of them subtle.
The aerobics studio. Mirrors on every wall. Pink leotard, leg warmers, sweatbands on both wrists, over-the-top punching and jumping jacks. If they ever owned a step platform, they'll feel seen.
The arcade. Glowing machines, a windbreaker, high-top sneakers, and the robot. Nobody does the robot at an arcade unless they are winning.
The roller rink. Shorts, skates, and waving at you from the floor like they've never fallen once in their life.
The mall at night. A pastel suit with the sleeves rolled up, cheesy pointing and swinging hips. Then a tall neon-lit birthday cake with sparkler candles on a glittery table, with a boombox and cassette tapes sitting beside it. Somebody made a mixtape for this birthday, and it was you.
One face or two
It takes one face or two. Alone, it's a tribute. With you as the second dancer, it's a duet, and the two of you are now permanently in leg warmers together on the internet.
For the photo, pick one where they're facing the camera. The cutout is their actual face with nothing redrawn, so if they have the face of someone who peaked at a laser tag party, that comes through. If the cutout clips their hair, paint it back, and if you want the hair bigger, that's very on theme.
Totally Rad Birthday is built tall, in 9:16, so it fills a phone screen. That makes it good for Stories and Reels, where the birthday person can repost it and pretend to be embarrassed.
You can type over the headline too. HAPPY BIRTHDAY works. So does:
- TOTALLY 40, DUDE
- GAG ME WITH A CAKE
- STILL RAD, MOSTLY
- BE KIND, REWIND
Born in the 80s, stuck in the 90s
If their nostalgia skipped ahead a decade, there's 90s Birthday Bash. Two faces in full neon workout-video mode: hip hop, aerobics, a bodybuilder and a sumo dance. Leg warmers come standard there too, so the two decades agree on at least one thing. Cast the birthday person as the bodybuilder. It's their day.
Making it and sending it
Pick the card, upload the photo, type the name, press play. Make a share link and drop it in the group chat. It opens a plain web page that plays the video, so nobody has to download an app or remember a password. You can also download the MP4 and text it, or email it to up to five people from the card page.
The preview with their face costs nothing. Keeping it is $1.99, one time, no subscription renewing behind your back. Cheaper than a cassette single was, and you don't have to rewind it with a pencil.