For a mean greeting card that still gets a laugh, try an anti-card: a short Tangy Limes music video for a breakup, a ghosting, an unpaid debt, or a birthday somebody would rather not discuss. You upload a photo, a real face lands on the dancer and sings an original, petty song, and the preview is free, so you can watch it before deciding whether to send it.
Match the grudge to the card:
- Dumped, or did the dumping: It's Not Me, It's You, or So Over You
- Ghosted: You Ghosted Me
- Still waiting to be paid back: You Owe Me Money
- Birthday, and they're touchy about it: You're Old Now
- Parked across two spaces: You're a Jerk
- Alone on a couples' holiday: Table for One
- Owe an apology you don't mean: Sorry, Not Sorry
- Coworker finally leaving: Don't Let the Door Hit You
- Terrible gift: Thanks for Nothing
Every anti-card stars one face. Whose face is up to you, and we have opinions about that further down.
Breakups and disappearances
It's Not Me, It's You opens on a front lawn covered in someone's clothes and a guitar. Not your clothes. From there it's a disco, a nail salon, and an open highway next to a red convertible. The song is a victory lap. Send it to your ex, or to your best friend the morning after they finally dumped theirs.
You Ghosted Me takes place in a haunted mansion hallway, a foggy graveyard, and a dark bedroom lit only by a phone that never buzzes. It's spooky and petty in equal measure, which is why it also turns up in our Halloween lineup.
Money, age and parking
You Owe Me Money goes from a pawn shop to a bank lobby to a fancy driveway to a casino floor. It's for the friend with the new car who still hasn't paid you back for the concert tickets. Think of it as an invoice with choreography.
You're Old Now is a birthday card with no bedside manner: bingo hall, porch rocking chair, golf cart. It works best with the birthday person's own face doing the dancing. You're a Jerk covers a punk club, a bedroom carpeted in pizza boxes, a courtroom, and a car parked across two spaces. You already know whose car.
The specialists
Table for One is a candlelit dinner for one, a wedding where everyone else is slow dancing, and a bowling alley, alone, which is honestly a pretty good night. Sorry, Not Sorry is a non-apology with a boy-band dance break. Don't Let the Door Hit You is for the coworker who is finally, finally leaving, and Thanks for Nothing is for the person whose gift you're still trying to return.
Whose face goes in it
You have two options and both are good. Put the target's face on the dancer, which is the classic move. Or put your own face in, so you're the one singing the grudge directly at them. That second one is somehow worse, and we mean that as a compliment.
Know your audience. Anti-cards are for siblings, best friends, roommates and the group chat, the people who'd rather get roasted than get a poem. If you're not sure someone will laugh, watch the free preview first, picture their face while it plays, and decide.
When it's ready, it's $1.99 to keep, one time. No subscription, which feels right. A grudge should be a single purchase.
You've had someone in mind since the first paragraph. Go find their worst photo.