A Tangy Limes birthday card takes the birthday person's real face from a photo you upload and puts it on a dancer singing an original birthday song, mouth moving to the words. Here are all twelve, sweet to savage. Every one previews free with your photo, so you can try a few before you pay for anything.
The party animals
Birthday Disco Fever fits three people. It starts on a light-up disco floor, swings through a roller rink and a gold balloon party room, and ends in a confetti shower, which is the correct way to end a birthday. Surprise Party fits four, so the whole friend group gets in, and somewhere between the giant cake and the confetti cannons there's a backyard bounce house. 90s Birthday Bash is two people in full neon workout-video mode, leg warmers and all. If the birthday person still owns a scrunchie, start there.
The ones who need a theme
Some people don't want a birthday. They want a concept. Boot Scootin' Birthday is a western saloon, a rodeo at golden hour, a barn dance and a desert campfire, for the friend who bought cowboy boots and is still waiting for the right occasion. Birthday Luau brings tiki torches, a tiki bar, surfboards and a beach bonfire, which is a lot of open flame for one birthday.
Birthday Polka starts in a Bavarian beer hall, wanders up to an alpine meadow, and then, with no explanation offered, lands in a 70s bowling alley. We stand by that. Big Band Birthday is the dressed-up one, with a 1940s ballroom, a velvet-curtain stage and a steam-train platform, for the grandparent who still dances at weddings.
The loud one, and the solo acts
Shred Your Birthday has an arena stage with pyro, a stretch limo sunroof, and a heavy metal video starring a giant inflatable cake. Send it to anyone who has ever played air guitar at a wedding.
Birthday Superstar takes exactly one face and hands it a red carpet and a stadium stage. It's flattering in a way that's safe for coworkers, which is a narrow target to hit. Make a Wish and Totally Rad Birthday are built tall, in 9:16, so they fill a phone screen and drop straight into Stories, where the birthday person can pretend to be embarrassed.
The roast
You're Old Now is the mean one, and we mean that warmly. Bingo hall, porch rocking chair, golf cart, sock-hop dance floor. Save it for the friend who just turned 30 and has started bringing up lumbar support at dinner. Put their face on the dancer and let the golf cart make the point.
Making one
Pick a card, then upload a photo of the birthday person or take one with your phone's camera. Two-person cards have room for you too, and you tap to decide who dances where. Type the names and press play. Watching someone you know sing lyrics they have never heard is strange for a moment, and then it's very funny. Shrink the heads or add captions if you want, before you buy anything.
When it looks right, the MP4 is yours for $1.99, with no account and nothing to cancel later. Text it, send a share link, or email it to up to five people straight from the card page. Or put it on the TV at the party and watch the birthday person try to leave the room.
So find a photo where the birthday person is looking at the camera, pick the card that matches their worst instincts, and press play. You'll know in forty seconds whether it's the one.